Just a few weeks ago someone asked me how long I’d lived in the Netherlands for, and I said 2.5 years. Then about 3 weeks after that, I got a Facebook memory pop up, reminding me that it was a whole THREE YEARS AGO that the shipping company took our cube to set sail, which was a mere two weeks before we emigrated.
It feels surreal that this has been home for three years when sometimes I feel like a tourist (but a smug one at that who knows how to order from a restaurant in Dutch, has a fixed travel travel card and two bicycles). It has passed so swiftly and even almost three years on, and on paper, this is home for sure. We’ve set down roots, adapted and have put our minds towards this country being our plan A, B and C (ie we’re here for the long haul).
However, I don’t really feel connected enough or knowledgeable enough to consider this “home” in the emotional sense. This isn’t a problem per se, and I neither feel in limbo nor disconnected/lost/sad about it. It’s not because I haven’t found my place or my people, but I don’t think I’ve had enough time to develop the familiarity and strong bond that might come when either you’re born in a place or have lived there long enough to attain it.
It also doesn’t mean I don’t love it here… I really do and I feel like we chose the best place for us. But do I get shiver when I hear the national anthem, or connect to a public holiday that holds meaning for Dutch people, or feel authentic patriotism when Netherlands wins in a sporting event? Not yet. Do I feel proud to live in a country that runs so well and has such great people? Yes. Am I proud to say I live in Amsterdam? Yes. And will I wear orange even though it looks awful on me on King’s Day because I can get behind and celebrate a national holiday. Natuurlijk!
Whether it comes or not, that’s okay. As always, we will continue to open ourselves to experiencing the country and culture to their fullest, try to be decent people and follow all the rules, and have immense gratitude for the opportunity – and Dutch openness – to live here. 🧡
Some random pics from the last few weeks…
The one family member who loves having her pic taken
Morning running views
More morning running views
Rebecca’s bestie, Cleo, our friends’ dog
Some of our weekly peonies before they’re out of season
Comments
Cherise
I've read this a few times now, and could not have come up with a better description! We feel it when we are in restaurants […] Read MoreI've read this a few times now, and could not have come up with a better description! We feel it when we are in restaurants and everyone breaks out into the Dutch version of 'happy birthday' for a guest, or when we hear the Dutch anthem, or go to a festival and don't know the songs or traditions. Like you said, none of that makes me sad and I feel blessed every day to be here, but that connection, that bond, that intrinsic familiarity lacks. I wonder if over time that will change, but even if it doesn't I feel content with my circle and our physical home enough to feel like I lack nothing. I am grateful every day, and love this journey, even when it is sometimes awkward to walk it with one foot in each country. Have a beautiful summer! Read Less
Stefan
Hi Tan - Ijeoma Umebinyuo wrote in ‘Diaspora Blues’: “So, here you are. Too foreign for home. To foreign for here. Never enough for both”. […] Read MoreHi Tan - Ijeoma Umebinyuo wrote in ‘Diaspora Blues’: “So, here you are. Too foreign for home. To foreign for here. Never enough for both”. Whilst I intrinsically believe you (and each of us as so-called “expats”) may go through this journey of “vis noch vlees”, I also believe we are all a special kind of person finding value in that moment of time called “now”. Thanks for sharing your journey above happy Dutchaversary!! Read Less